The more we get lost in Big Tech's digital world, the less satisfied and more isolated we become

Just as we shield others from secondhand smoke, we must protect onlookers from secondhand screens.

It starts innocently enough. You're in a waiting room, maybe at the dentist's office or an airport lounge, leafing through a magazine or swiping your phone when your gaze is drawn by a flickering monitor on the wall. You don't care about the breaking news or the screen crawl at the bottom. But something about the flickering screen seizes your attention like a moth to a flame.

It's not just you. Everyone else in the room is equally seduced. The screen is inescapable. It demands to be looked at. You may try to focus on something else, but it tugs at you and wins out. Welcome to the modern world of secondhand screen exposure.

In the same way secondhand smoke invades the lungs of those nearby, screens invade our attention whether we want them to or not. The consequences for our brains are just as concerning as smoke is to our bodies. The presence of someone else's phone, monitor or tablet is enough to seize our attention because each acts like unavoidable secondhand smoke.

The hijacked brain

Our Stone Age ancestors evolved to seek out pleasure because it usually indicated something essential for survival. A sweet fruit meant energy; a safe place to sleep meant protection, and social bonding meant security within one's group. Fast-forward to the digital age and our brains are still using these ancient circuits - only now they're being hijacked by Big Tech, which is better at distracting us than we are at defending inherent weaknesses of our biology.

The promise of something new - an update, a text, a push notification, any change in prevailing circumstances - feeds into pleasure-seeking circuits, creating a powerful loop of desire and an equally powerful impulse to gratify it.

But here's the catch: The pleasure we derive from screens is shallow and fleeting, unlike the lasting satisfaction that comes from face-to-face interactions. Steady screen interruptions increase stress and decrease our productivity, leading to the paradox where the more we engage with digital devices, the less satisfied and more isolated we feel.

Your phone and FOMO

Despite what many think, people are terrible at multitasking. Each time we switch from one task to another - glancing at our phone in the middle of a meeting or while composing a text - it costs us in terms of sapped energy.

You may be surprised to learn that the brain has a fixed energy supply, which no amount of diet, exercise, supplements or Sodoku puzzles can ever increase. Constantly shifting from one task to another doesn't just make us tired - it makes us worse at everything. Numerous studies show that multitasking reduces our ability to retain information, think critically and solve problems. With screen distractions bombarding us from every direction, it's no wonder people feel mentally exhausted.

It's not only in waiting rooms or public lounges that screens force a cognitive drain. Try to concentrate in the classroom or workplace while someone nearby is scrolling through Instagram or texts. You might not want to look but your brain, designed to register novelty and movement, can't help but react to a lit-up screen in your peripheral vision. Research shows that the mere presence of a phone nearby degrades attention span and working memory.

It also increases anxiety and triggers what has become a digital-age hallmark: FOMO, the fear of missing out. Smartphones have become synonymous with pleasure, and we have conditioned ourselves to associate the devices with social connection, entertainment and instant gratification. The association is strong and activates the same dopamine pleasure circuits that food, sex and other survival-related activities do.

Screens in public spaces are now as inescapable as air pollution. Whether it's a news ticker on a building, monitors playing cooking shows at the gym or a stream of advertisements at bus shelters, screens accost us everywhere. They've wormed their way into what used to be quiet places, normalizing the idea that they should occupy every blank space in our lives.

But such relentless distraction comes at a price. The biggest cost is its impact on empathy and person-to-person connection. We have all seen groups sitting together, each staring at their phones instead of engaging with the people next to them.

Reclaiming ourselves

Unlike secondhand smoke, we can't banish screens from public spaces. They are too widespread. But we can create screen-free zones where people can engage with one another without a constant pull that demands our attention be elsewhere. Restaurants could encourage patrons to put their phones in a lock pouch, fostering more meaningful interaction.

We can practice mindfulness, setting boundaries for when and where we use our devices, being more intentional about the content we consume, and giving ourselves regular breaks from the digital world. Step one is acknowledging the power that screens hold over us and resisting the urge to check them at every idle moment.

Our brains are wired to socialize, thrive in natural green environments and need periods of rest and reflection to operate at their best. Screens cannot provide any of that. We must learn to coexist with them in a way that supports rather than undermines our mental well-being.

The challenge is not just to avoid screen addiction, but to recognize that your habit affects everyone around you. Just as we shield others from secondhand smoke, we must protect onlookers from secondhand screens. The next time you're in a waiting room, at work, or out together with friends, try not to look. Your brain will thank you.

Neurologist Richard E. Cytowic is the author of "Your Stone Age Brain in the Screen Age: Coping with Digital Distraction and Sensory Overload" (MIT Press, 2024).

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-Richard E. Cytowic

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