Just wait until you've finally got your hands on that Glitterball Trophy at around 8.25pm on Saturday night, Chris. Then you'll find out all about rewards: prime time BBC One sitcoms, sell out arena tours, big money advertising deals, more podcasts and travel programmes than one man could possibly record in a year...
Not that I am for one minute suggesting that the comedian -- Strictly's first blind contestant -- only braved the ballroom in order to give his career a boost. Anyone who has watched his miraculous journey with his pro dancer and teacher Dianne Buswell over the past three months knows that he did it for the challenge -- and that he genuinely expected to be voted out within the first few weeks.
The fact that McCausland -- who, I have a feeling, may hail from the Liverpool area -- has made it all the way to the final, and is now officially the strongest favourite in the show's history, is nothing short of remarkable.
At one stage this week the bookies were offering odds of 1/20 on him and Buswell winning. As far as the betting markets are concerned, the real battle is who will finish 2nd, 3rd and 4th. McCausland clearly deserves all the good things that are about to come his way, and you'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who is planning to withhold their cheers when Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman hand over the trophy on Saturday night.
And yet.
Going forward, his runaway success may present the BBC and the Strictly bookers with a bit of a problem. Strictly is meant to be a thrilling contest that grips the nation from late summer all the way to the festive season. This year it was over as a serious battle before it had even had a chance to get going.
Don't get me wrong. Being able to witness McCausland and Buswell produce their dancefloor magic has enriched my life on a weekly basis, and I'm looking forward to enjoying at least three more dopamine hits tomorrow night. By the way, at least half the cheers on the night will surely be reserved for Buswell, whose patience and understanding -- not to mention her choreography skills -- have made their dream possible.
However, you would perhaps forgive the other three finalists if they admitted they'd had an occasional voice in their head whispering, "This isn't really fair." Obviously, JB Gill, Tasha Ghouri and Sarah Hadland are such lovely people they would have sent that pesky whisperer packing immediately.
In any case, McCausland could quite rightly counter that as he is the only finalist with no previous dance experience the playing field has been levelled somewhat -- and let's be honest, it won't be the first time the best dancer doesn't win the Strictly title. Mind you, I'm sure the three also-rans will have no regrets. There is after all an awful lot to be said for the "taking part" bit -- particularly on a ride as joyful and exhilarating as Strictly.
That doesn't change the fact that 2024 will be remembered as the year the two biggest shows on British television were a foregone conclusion from the start. (Over ten million of us still watched them though.)
This is what it must feel like for fans of French or Scottish football, where the names of Paris St Germain and Celtic are no doubt routinely engraved on the league trophy before the season even kicks off.
Accidents and other unforeseen hiccups do happen though. Ironically, if McCausland and Buswell were to somehow fail to emerge victorious, it would instantly represent the most shocking turn of events in Strictly's 20 year history. It would also be the only remotely controversial news to hit the programme in what has been an unusually quiet series on the headline front.
The BBC would happily take that, of course. When this year's run began there was such a dark cloud hanging over Strictly, thanks to the well-documented behind-the-scenes scandals, that some observers thought it might turn out to be the final series.
I think the Beeb has successfully put those fears to bed. The problem is, I suspect a large number of viewers would still prefer a little more spice with their salsa next year.
Aside from the annual grumbles about the judges overmarking and/or undermarking and the voters putting the wrong contestants in the bottom two, there has been nothing for Strictly's online community to get at all vexatious over.
In fact, we've been so starved of drama that poor Shirley Ballas was actually trolled and accused of bias last week for the shocking crime of, erm, calling Pete Wicks "Mr Strictly". This, despite the fact Ballas was simply talking about how Wicks represented the humble everyman who turns up with no dance experience and ends up surprising himself.
By all means have a pop at Ballas -- and the other judges -- for constantly building their parts and getting a bit too carried away with the fancy dress. (They do kind of deserve it, to be fair.) Don't start taking things out of context just because you're bored, though.
Luckily, the judges will be able to relax tomorrow night. Given that the result is decided by the public vote alone, the final is where the judges traditionally attain indisputable irrelevance.
Still, it will be interesting to see whether Ballas and co, or either of the presenters are willing to address the runaway elephant in the room.
Yeah, right. Considering the way the BBC still pretends that the Sunday night result shows are live, I'd say the only way Chris McCausland and Dianne Buswell's impending victory will get a cheeky mention tomorrow night will be if SOMEONE suddenly goes wildly off script.
And the fact that the someone in question will most likely be the king of self-deprecation himself is, in my book, just another reason why he deserves to win.