DEAR ABBY: My 25-year-old niece is getting married in four months. Five years ago, she lost her father in a tragic accident while her parents were on vacation. Since that time, she has come out as gay and grown closer to me than to her mom (my sister).

I was always close to my sister and both of her daughters while they were growing up and helped out financially when times were tough. My sister recently remarried and plans to move to another state with her new husband prior to the wedding.

My niece has asked me to walk her down the aisle along with my sister. My sister said it's disrespectful to her since she is the mother. I don't want to hurt my sister or my niece. My niece says it's both of us or neither one. (There are no grandparents.)

I told her I want to sit with my husband for the wedding and that her mom should walk her down the aisle. The other bride's parents will be walking their daughter down the aisle. I know it's my niece's wedding and she should have what she wants, but I feel stuck in the middle. Any suggestions? -- TORN IN TWO IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR TORN: I do have one. You have already told your niece you would prefer to sit with your husband rather than cause resentment from your sister. Your niece feels strongly about having you walk with her, and it is her wedding. You might suggest walking her halfway down the aisle and then handing her off to her mother. But leave the final decision where it belongs -- which is with the bride.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.